How To Politely Deal With Someone In The Office Whose Coughing Is Out Of Control

[Rink]

In 2016 I had an awful cough that lasted like 6 weeks and one of the Chief DDAs, whose office was across the hall from mine, eventually just told me to go to the doctor and get tested for walking pneumonia. The doctor diagnosed Reactive Airway and gave me a daily inhaler that worked like a charm. That was in the big gross old courthouse in Portland, where I assume I was reacting to something horrible in the walls like mold or asbestos, even though I've never been a particularly sensitive person.

Now in Rural America, I notice that I get congested and gooey-feeling when the wildfires are bad or in winter when woodstove smoke settles in the little valley where I live, so I start up using the inhaler again during the worst air weeks.

[ggocat]

Cougher has recently gotten in trouble at work for breaking chairs at his desk.

Can't make this stuff up.

Intentionally or unintentionally breaking chairs?

[Cougher]

Cougher has recently gotten in trouble at work for breaking chairs at his desk.

Can't make this stuff up.

Intentionally or unintentionally breaking chairs?

Supposedly unintentional but there have been three broken chairs in two months.

[RespondeatInferior]

Honestly, if you've got any Dexter in you, this guy seems like the perfect first-go. Some pretty strange stuff could show up on his autopsy and nobody would suspect a thing as long as coughing is a symptom of the cause of death. Doing this might make you a psychopath, and posting this might make me a psychopath, but I'm just trying to keep the discussion going here. Can't blame a man for that.

Seems like a slight overreaction to murder the guy

Also, Dexter's plan was for the bodies not to be found.

Then why did he throw like 50 of them into the same part of the fucking river.

[Cougher]

The coughing, sneezing, and nose blowing is out of control today. I've been to professional sporting activities that did not even produce this much noise.

[Cougher]

Cougher was sent home early because he wasn’t feeling well (i.e., causing a disruption with the unbelieveable noise).

[Slytherpuff]

The coughing, sneezing, and nose blowing is out of control today. I've been to professional sporting activities that did not even produce this much noise.

What sport would this be?

[Cougher]

The coughing, sneezing, and nose blowing is out of control today. I've been to professional sporting activities that did not even produce this much noise.

What sport would this be?

NFL Playoff games, NBA games, NHL games.

Obviously an exaggeration but you really have no idea how loud and out of control these noises are until you have been around it. It literally disrupts an entire office, even when people close their office doors!

[Cougher]

Monday morning and the cougher is back at it again. HEAVY clearing of the throat, burping, and coughing. Early indications are that he will be sent home again.

[Cougher]

Cougher is currently in a meeting with the Human Resources Department believed to be related to the disruptions caused by his coughing, hacking, sneezing, grunting, burping, and excessive throat clearing.

Here is phonetic example of what the throat clearing sounds like:

HHHUUUURRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPHHHHHHHUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHURRRRRRRRRRRRUMMMMMPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! RAF! RAF! HHHHHHHHHHHHURRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

[notlegaladvice]

Didn't we go through all of these things already in the prior thread?? Moving desks/floors, talking with HR, telework arrangement, etc.

[Cougher]

Didn't we go through all of these things already in the prior thread?? Moving desks/floors, talking with HR, telework arrangement, etc.

Correct. The coughing and noises have started causing problems again after a short period of relief.

[Cougher]

The sneezing, coughing, and throat clearing is in full swing this morning. In what I believe was a direct response to the noise this morning, management has sent out an email reminding everyone to be mindful and courteous of others and noise levels should be kept to a minimum to not distract others.

[worldtraveler]

Tell him to get tested for nonallergic rhinitis. I have it and it's terrible. When I have flare ups I have a horrible cough that usually scares other people. I have asthma too so it's worse for me. It's essentially that your body is allergic to changes in air temperature and things like the change of the season or inconsistent weather cause inflammation and excessive flem in your chest and sinuses. It's like your have an allergic sensitivity to air/climate changes. I know it sounds ridiculous but it's a real thing.

It can be treated though and can get under control with regular nebulizer use, decongestants, but more importantly living in a consistent climate. If I live places that have consistently hot or mild weather I have few problems. Maybe the dude just needs to move.

[Cougher]

Cold and flu season is now among us, and the cougher is have a ROUGH go. According to office water cooler talk, the cougher is a mess of coughing, sneezing, and a runny nose. One person close to the cougher described it as if it sounded like the cougher was in pain from sniffing, sneezing, and trying to control the faucet like drip of mucous coming from his nasal passage.

[Cougher]

It looks like this could be the end of this thread, for now at least. The Cougher has been relocated to a different floor in the office. It seems I will not be receiving as many updates on his noise causing or experiencing it personally.

[swing]

The end of an era.

[JenDarby]

McSWEENEY'S CASUAL QUESTIONS FOR THE CHRONICALLY COUGHING COLLEAGUE IN YOUR OPEN OFFICE

[waldorf]

Whatever happened to the cougher?

[Story]

Yes! Inquiring minds want to know.