excitable intern

AAnon

excitable intern

Post by AAnon » Tue May 22, 2018 3:25 pm

we have a new intern for the summer who gets very loud when he starts talking. i think he's just excited and nervous, but it's very noticeable, and his loud laugh is especially piercing. he's also kind of a close talker so it's even more intense, and this has happened when he's spoken to the boss, who would never mention anything but who i can only assume is mortified. i haven't mentioned it yet because i don't want to make him self-conscious and even more nervous. what is to be done?

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jeff chiles
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Re: excitable intern

Post by jeff chiles » Tue May 22, 2018 3:38 pm

Close talking: I think you can tell someone to back off if they are too close to you, especially if you do it right away and not after 2-3 months of close talking.

Loud talking: this is harder but since it’s a guy I’d tell him to calm down or relax in a lighthearted way.

Loud laughing: I think you just have to live with this.

BearCat
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Re: excitable intern

Post by BearCat » Tue May 22, 2018 5:24 pm

How much do you care about the guy? If you couldn't care less, just bear it, complain about it with your co-workers when you go to lunch, and wait until the summer's over. Try to avoid him when possible. If he's an intern, he should be easily avoidable.

If you care about him, take him out to lunch and tell him this shit bothers people and that, if he wants a job anywhere in the future, he's going to need to make some changes.

AAnon

Re: excitable intern

Post by AAnon » Thu May 24, 2018 3:37 pm

thanks for the replies.

volume: i think he is getting more comfortable with us and the volume has very slowly subsided over the past couple days, and i expect it will continue to get better. i am doing my best to make him feel welcome and comfortable so i think that's helping. i don't care a whole lot, though, so if it does continue to be annoying, i will just live with it. we are in a very small office so it's not possible to ignore him.

close talking: i was planning on just bringing it up casually at lunch or something, but he unexpectedly got very close to me in the office and i sort of knee-jerk backed away, and he had a confused look on his face, so then i tried to play it off like he just caught me by surprise, and then i segued into talking about how i'm someone who is "really into having a lot of personal space" or something phrased stupidly. i didn't handle it well but i think it got the point across.

loud laugh: def going to just live with it, i suppose i'd rather have him laugh loudly than not at all

BUT there has been a new development, and i promise this is not flame/troll. i don't use the bathroom as much as my coworkers so i hadn't noticed yet, but one of them pointed out to me that the intern leaves the seat up after he pees. like, i realize how fake that probably sounds, but today i waited until he went, and i looked into the bathroom after and sure enough the seat was up. what the hell? we have women in our office and there are only shared single-use bathrooms. i'm definitely going to say something to him (right?), probably tomorrow, and i suppose i'll continue to update this thread with weird shit that happens because i get the sense it's not over yet. and i loved these threads on the old forum, coworker of loud cougher was MVP.

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blueapple
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Re: excitable intern

Post by blueapple » Thu May 24, 2018 3:46 pm

AAnon wrote:
Thu May 24, 2018 3:37 pm
i suppose i'd rather have him laugh loudly than not at all
<3

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HelloYesThisIsDog
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Re: excitable intern

Post by HelloYesThisIsDog » Thu May 24, 2018 3:57 pm

Guys don't want to touch the seat either.

Let's definitely turn this into a megathread about the debate re leaving the seat up.

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freshy dog
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Re: excitable intern

Post by freshy dog » Thu May 24, 2018 11:26 pm

obviously you tear a piece of toilet paper to handle the seat, we're not barbarians

or in public restroom, if trying not to touch anything, you use your foot. but work bathroom is definitely toilet paper

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UVA2B
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Re: excitable intern

Post by UVA2B » Thu May 24, 2018 11:28 pm

Toilet etiquette is the new cheez-it cough.

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soj
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Re: excitable intern

Post by soj » Fri May 25, 2018 9:57 am

blueapple wrote:
Thu May 24, 2018 3:46 pm
AAnon wrote:
Thu May 24, 2018 3:37 pm
i suppose i'd rather have him laugh loudly than not at all
<3
cry evrytiem

an actual decent thing to do tho, good for you

lawman84
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Re: excitable intern

Post by lawman84 » Mon May 28, 2018 5:44 am

freshy dog wrote:
Thu May 24, 2018 11:26 pm
obviously you tear a piece of toilet paper to handle the seat, we're not barbarians

or in public restroom, if trying not to touch anything, you use your foot. but work bathroom is definitely toilet paper
Or you use your hand because you're going to wash your hands immediately afterwards. Although, it strikes me as a bit weird that leaving the seat up is a huge deal.

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stego
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Re: excitable intern

Post by stego » Mon May 28, 2018 2:32 pm

I can’t imagine speaking to someone or getting spoken to about leaving the toilet seat up in the workplace. I thought you were going to mention something serious/gross.

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Kümmel
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Re: excitable intern

Post by Kümmel » Mon May 28, 2018 2:37 pm

stego wrote:
Mon May 28, 2018 2:32 pm
I can’t imagine speaking to someone or getting spoken to about leaving the toilet seat up in the workplace. I thought you were going to mention something serious/gross.
yeah exceptionally weird to tell someone at work that their toilet seat etiquette is wrong. If he was peeing on the seat I'd get it, but leaving it up...lol

bruh
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Re: excitable intern

Post by bruh » Mon May 28, 2018 10:23 pm

These threads tend to say more about the OP than the interns/coworkers

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UVA2B
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Re: excitable intern

Post by UVA2B » Mon May 28, 2018 10:24 pm

bruh wrote:
Mon May 28, 2018 10:23 pm
These threads tend to say more about the OP than the interns/coworkers
Shhh, bathroom etiquette is eminently debatable!

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barkschool
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Re: excitable intern

Post by barkschool » Wed May 30, 2018 10:01 am

bruh wrote:
Mon May 28, 2018 10:23 pm
These threads tend to say more about the OP than the interns/coworkers
Op is determined to be insufferable. Should offer his job to intern.

AAnon

Re: excitable intern

Post by AAnon » Wed May 30, 2018 3:05 pm

tl;dr: haven't said anything about the toilet seat yet, but a female coworker just complained about it to me, so it's probably time soon. also, he is on a quest to find the best cheeseburger in the area, so it's been cheeseburgers like every day for lunch. makes it hard to eat healthy rabbit food, but i respect his hustle nonetheless
lawman84 wrote:
Mon May 28, 2018 5:44 am
freshy dog wrote:
Thu May 24, 2018 11:26 pm
obviously you tear a piece of toilet paper to handle the seat, we're not barbarians

or in public restroom, if trying not to touch anything, you use your foot. but work bathroom is definitely toilet paper
Or you use your hand because you're going to wash your hands immediately afterwards. Although, it strikes me as a bit weird that leaving the seat up is a huge deal.
stego wrote:
Mon May 28, 2018 2:32 pm
I can’t imagine speaking to someone or getting spoken to about leaving the toilet seat up in the workplace. I thought you were going to mention something serious/gross.
ok, but do you leave the seat up when women are present, or do you put it down? yeah, it's not a huge deal, and i haven't said anything yet, but a female coworker recently mentioned it to me. it's a common courtesy that i assumed most people in the working world observed. i worded it the way i did so that y'all didn't think i was just making stuff up just for entertainment value, probably a bit hyperbolic but w/e. i also didn't expect that there would be so many in the "who cares" camp
Kümmel wrote:
Mon May 28, 2018 2:37 pm
stego wrote:
Mon May 28, 2018 2:32 pm
I can’t imagine speaking to someone or getting spoken to about leaving the toilet seat up in the workplace. I thought you were going to mention something serious/gross.
yeah exceptionally weird to tell someone at work that their toilet seat etiquette is wrong. If he was peeing on the seat I'd get it, but leaving it up...lol
i don't think it's weird at all. as i said, i thought it was a common courtesy to leave the seat down. have all of you "no big deal" people never shared a bathroom with a woman SO / coworker / colleague? many, if not most, don't like the seat being left up. i assume this was something that people learned before leaving high school or college.
bruh wrote:
Mon May 28, 2018 10:23 pm
These threads tend to say more about the OP than the interns/coworkers
thanks for your contribution to the thread; i'm sure you've handled every social / professional interaction perfectly. i'd love to hear your insight into what this thread says about me

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stego
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Re: excitable intern

Post by stego » Wed May 30, 2018 3:18 pm

It’s common courtesy to leave the seat down perhaps but I still think it’s super weird to criticize a coworker for not doing it.

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ymmv
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Re: excitable intern

Post by ymmv » Wed May 30, 2018 3:23 pm

I once had a federal judge kindly tell me off for leaving the toilet seat up because it presented issues for somebody in chambers with a disability, which hadn’t occurred to me, but I can think of very few other circumstances under which it’s appropriate to talk to a coworker about bathroom behaviors.

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Nony
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Re: excitable intern

Post by Nony » Wed May 30, 2018 3:32 pm

Conversely, I know of a chambers where the permanent staff definitely commented on people’s toilet habits (there was a bathroom in chambers and a jury bathroom just around the hall from chambers and apparently you are only supposed to shit in the jury bathroom). If someone left the seat up in a communal bathroom it would have been discussed.

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Re: excitable intern

Post by bruh » Wed May 30, 2018 5:52 pm

AAnon wrote:
Wed May 30, 2018 3:05 pm


thanks for your contribution to the thread; i'm sure you've handled every social / professional interaction perfectly. i'd love to hear your insight into what this thread says about me
Don't give me too much credit; I'm pretty good-to-great with social and professional interactions, but I can't say I've handled every single one perfectly, of course.

I think this thread says that you have a tendency to complain about fairly innocuous actions of your colleagues.

lawman84
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Re: excitable intern

Post by lawman84 » Wed May 30, 2018 5:58 pm

AAnon wrote:
Wed May 30, 2018 3:05 pm
i don't think it's weird at all. as i said, i thought it was a common courtesy to leave the seat down. have all of you "no big deal" people never shared a bathroom with a woman SO / coworker / colleague? many, if not most, don't like the seat being left up. i assume this was something that people learned before leaving high school or college.
If the guy has to lift it up, why can't a woman put it down? That seems fair to me.

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Rink
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Re: excitable intern

Post by Rink » Wed May 30, 2018 6:45 pm

lawman84 wrote:
Wed May 30, 2018 5:58 pm
AAnon wrote:
Wed May 30, 2018 3:05 pm
i don't think it's weird at all. as i said, i thought it was a common courtesy to leave the seat down. have all of you "no big deal" people never shared a bathroom with a woman SO / coworker / colleague? many, if not most, don't like the seat being left up. i assume this was something that people learned before leaving high school or college.
If the guy has to lift it up, why can't a woman put it down? That seems fair to me.
Because dudes (1)can sit down to pee and (2)have to sit down to shit. Women have to sit down all of the time. The toilet seat needs to be down >50% of the time.

Also, sitting down when the seat is up unexpectedly is the worst.

lawman84
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Re: excitable intern

Post by lawman84 » Wed May 30, 2018 10:02 pm

Rink wrote:
Wed May 30, 2018 6:45 pm
lawman84 wrote:
Wed May 30, 2018 5:58 pm
AAnon wrote:
Wed May 30, 2018 3:05 pm
i don't think it's weird at all. as i said, i thought it was a common courtesy to leave the seat down. have all of you "no big deal" people never shared a bathroom with a woman SO / coworker / colleague? many, if not most, don't like the seat being left up. i assume this was something that people learned before leaving high school or college.
If the guy has to lift it up, why can't a woman put it down? That seems fair to me.
Because dudes (1)can sit down to pee and (2)have to sit down to shit. Women have to sit down all of the time. The toilet seat needs to be down >50% of the time.

Also, sitting down when the seat is up unexpectedly is the worst.
Look at the toilet before you sit. I look at the toilet before I pee. Regardless, I don't feel that I owe anyone anything. I gotta put the seat up, so women are more than capable of putting it down. Now, I usually put it down because of habit, but I don't feel anyone has a right to complain if I forget and leave it up.

Roy McAvoy
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Re: excitable intern

Post by Roy McAvoy » Thu May 31, 2018 6:36 pm

I find it odd that the men and women are sharing a restroom at your office, unless we’re talking about a judges chambers and this is a normal public restroom. But yeah as you’ve referenced above, I’ve definitely never used the same restroom as a female colleague/coworker.

bruh
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Re: excitable intern

Post by bruh » Thu May 31, 2018 6:52 pm

Roy McAvoy wrote:
Thu May 31, 2018 6:36 pm
I find it odd that the men and women are sharing a restroom at your office, unless we’re talking about a judges chambers and this is a normal public restroom. But yeah as you’ve referenced above, I’ve definitely never used the same restroom as a female colleague/coworker.
Men and women share bathrooms in many work environments.

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