by lolwat » Sat Nov 16, 2019 2:28 pm
I read the main concern to be how healthy your current firm's practice area is going to be after Rockstar leaves and what your future will look like in that practice area. You don't really seem to address this as much when you're discussing Firm Y. What is it about Firm Y that makes you think your future in this practice area will be better than at Firm X? Is it just because that one partner at Firm Y is developing into a rockstar in this practice area, while most of the partners at Firm X are either older or part-time? I don't know enough about the situation, even after reading your post, but I find this to be a potentially exciting opportunity to work yourself into Rockstar #2 at Firm X, which you seem to note is a possibility. It seems to me that you should have a conversation with the Co-Chair about your future role in the practice group and maybe try to set yourself up to be the next Rockstar there. My suspicion--especially given your talk about how great the people at the firm are--is the older A-listers will probably be happy seeing a younger person wanting to take the lead and the part-timers will probably be equally happy because they can stay part-time while somebody else takes the lead.
A second concern seems to be the age gap, which results in a lack of social connections and the feeling of isolation. This is more difficult to deal with, but I would try to address it at your current firm by finding ways to go hang out with other people outside the firm. I find most people at firms are in their office to work during the day anyway, so most social activity (other than random chatting for a couple minutes here and there in the kitchen or coffee room) happens during lunch and in the evenings outside the office. So why not look at alternatives like just going out for lunch with your friends from other firms, or sign up and attend 1-2 networking functions in your area a week, just so you get out there and be social? It seems you're already doing a lot of business development activity which also helps.
And the third main concern seems to be your work environment and mental health issues. That is, the people at Firm X are genuinely nice people, and the firm has been understanding your issues and low hours. And you don't know whether people at Firm Y would be equally good people and understanding about your mental health issues. I would not look at this as that you are "indebted" to Firm X (even though you may justifiably feel that way, and they may be disappointed if you leave after they've invested in you). I would consider more whether (1) the people at Firm X are just genuinely good people and (2) how much stress is relieved (and how helpful it is to your mental health issues) by the leniency they've shown and might keep showing. This is actually really important because (1) if you end up working with assholes, your depression could get worse than just having an age gap and some social isolation, and (2) if Firm Y shows no leniency, then you're either going to have to step up immediately or risk getting fired, which will create a ton of stress you probably don't need. Finally, I'd also consider how a move like this might impact your mental health to begin with. I find that a change helps when the current situation is toxic (which it isn't here), but a change itself can often be stressful.
All that to say: I'd stay at Firm X because it just doesn't seem like a transition to Firm Y yields enough potential benefit to offset the risks it carries. If you're out in the community and especially in this practice area and have been building relationships, your current opportunity at Firm Y probably won't be the only one you ever have if you decide a few years down the road you need to leave Firm X. In the meantime, see what you can do at Firm X to develop yourself into the next Rockstar.
I read the main concern to be how healthy your current firm's practice area is going to be after Rockstar leaves and what your future will look like in that practice area. You don't really seem to address this as much when you're discussing Firm Y. What is it about Firm Y that makes you think your future in this practice area will be better than at Firm X? Is it just because that one partner at Firm Y is developing into a rockstar in this practice area, while most of the partners at Firm X are either older or part-time? I don't know enough about the situation, even after reading your post, but I find this to be a potentially exciting opportunity to work yourself into Rockstar #2 at Firm X, which you seem to note is a possibility. It seems to me that you should have a conversation with the Co-Chair about your future role in the practice group and maybe try to set yourself up to be the next Rockstar there. My suspicion--especially given your talk about how great the people at the firm are--is the older A-listers will probably be happy seeing a younger person wanting to take the lead and the part-timers will probably be equally happy because they can stay part-time while somebody else takes the lead.
A second concern seems to be the age gap, which results in a lack of social connections and the feeling of isolation. This is more difficult to deal with, but I would try to address it at your current firm by finding ways to go hang out with other people outside the firm. I find most people at firms are in their office to work during the day anyway, so most social activity (other than random chatting for a couple minutes here and there in the kitchen or coffee room) happens during lunch and in the evenings outside the office. So why not look at alternatives like just going out for lunch with your friends from other firms, or sign up and attend 1-2 networking functions in your area a week, just so you get out there and be social? It seems you're already doing a lot of business development activity which also helps.
And the third main concern seems to be your work environment and mental health issues. That is, the people at Firm X are genuinely nice people, and the firm has been understanding your issues and low hours. And you don't know whether people at Firm Y would be equally good people and understanding about your mental health issues. I would not look at this as that you are "indebted" to Firm X (even though you may justifiably feel that way, and they may be disappointed if you leave after they've invested in you). I would consider more whether (1) the people at Firm X are just genuinely good people and (2) how much stress is relieved (and how helpful it is to your mental health issues) by the leniency they've shown and might keep showing. This is actually really important because (1) if you end up working with assholes, your depression could get worse than just having an age gap and some social isolation, and (2) if Firm Y shows no leniency, then you're either going to have to step up immediately or risk getting fired, which will create a ton of stress you probably don't need. Finally, I'd also consider how a move like this might impact your mental health to begin with. I find that a change helps when the current situation is toxic (which it isn't here), but a change itself can often be stressful.
All that to say: I'd stay at Firm X because it just doesn't seem like a transition to Firm Y yields enough potential benefit to offset the risks it carries. If you're out in the community and especially in this practice area and have been building relationships, your current opportunity at Firm Y probably won't be the only one you ever have if you decide a few years down the road you need to leave Firm X. In the meantime, see what you can do at Firm X to develop yourself into the next Rockstar.